Thursday, April 14, 2011


SELLER: Bruce Willis
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $3,995,000
SIZE: 2,318 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple of weeks ago it was widely reported in all the celebrity real estate gossip columns that actor Bruce Willis and his wife Emma Henning hoisted a 20th floor residence they own at New York City's Trump Place building on the market with an asking price of $3,995,000.

Mister Willis got his his big break in the ugly business of show in the mid-1980s when he starred opposite Cybill Shepherd on the boob-toob detective comedy Moonlighting. He went on to shake his money maker in dozens upon dozens of cash cow films film franchises that include but are far from limited to Die Hard, Pulp Fiction, 12 Monkeys, The Fifth Element, The Sixth Sense and Look Who's Talking.

The good news for Mister Willis is that his Upper West Side condo crib, according to current listing information, is now in contract. The bad news is that property records show Mister Willis scooped up the apartment November 2007 when he paid $4,260,000 for the 2,318 square foot spread in the full-service building. That means that even if his Real Estates managed to work some kind of hocus-pocus voodoo shit and bring in a full price offer, Mister Willis is still looking at a loss of $265,000, not counting the six-figure real estate fees. Surely it stings the egos of even the wealthiest of celebs to take a $250,000 real estate gut punch but Your Mama doubts anyone will feel an iota of sorry for Mister Willis whose movies, according to Box Office Mojo, have grossed a stop-a-person-dead-in-their-tracks $2,728,646,383.

Current listing information for Mister Willis's 3 bedroom and 3 bathroom condo shows the unit has 11 foot ceilings, Brazilian cherry wood floors laid in a herringbone pattern, 3 corner exposures, gigantic windows, cherry wood kitchen cabinetry and panoramic views of the Hudson River and the not exactly scenic city of West New York, NJ. Common charges and real estate taxes run a not-insignificant $4,007 per month according to listing information.

The Trump Place building, which is–at best–a Costas Kondylis-designed architectural snooze-o-rama, offers its well-heeled residents a 24-7 doorman and concierge, private health club with indoor swimming pool, spa and steam room and on-site parking with valet services. The building is a long walk to the subway–even rich people who live in multi-million dollar condos on the Upper West side right the subway kiddies–but sits conveniently just a quick skip to the West 72nd Street dog run and a short walk to the Boat Basin Cafe at West 79th Street and the Hudson River which, as it turns out, opens for the 2011 season today.

It's not known by Your Mama if Mister Willis and Miz Hemming plan to purchase another pied a terre in the Big Apple but we'd fall right out of our molded plastic Panton chair if they did not.

Mister Willis has a bulging property portfolio stuffed with luxury residences that include a 10,379 square foot mansion in the prime lower Benedict Canyon area of Beverly Hills, CA that records show he purchased in June 2004 for an even-steven $9,000,000. He also owns a second spread high above Beverly Hills on Mulholland Drive that property records show sprawls across 5.24 acres and includes a 2,905 square foot ranch-style residence with 4 bedrooms and 3 poopers. Property records show he's owned this since 1987 when he bought it for $1,175,000 and over the last few years Mister Willis has spent big bucks shoring up the steep downward slope at the rear of the property with a series of undulating and sculptural retaining walls.
In addition to his New York City and Beverly Hills homes, the smooth-pated and aging Lothario has a penchant for rugged properties in somewhat unlikely locations. Property records reveal he has some sort of property near Petit Lake in Ketchum, ID and he owns scads of real estate in the itty-bitty resort community of Hailey, ID that includes a sizable mansion on a private lake, the Liberty Theatre building, the E.G. Willis Building and The Mint, a popular downtown Hailey nightclub he acquired back in the 1990s when he was married to cougarlicious actress Demi Moore. Over the years The Mint is said to have hosted celebs like Darryl Hanna, John Kennedy Jr., and casino billionaire Steve Wynn.

Mister Willis closed the nightclub several years ago and in the fall of 2010 put the business and the historic brick-built building on the market with an asking price of $5,995,000, a price that includes the fittings, sound system, furniture and the all-important booze license.

Over the years Mister Willis has owned and sold a number of other properties around Los Angeles including a couple ocean front homes in Malibu and, for about a hot minute in the early naughts, he owned a 6,827 square foot mansion in the hills above Studio City that's now owned by sit-com writer/producer Jeff Filgo (The New Adventures of Old Christine, That '70s Show).

Mister Willis is sometimes said to also own a ranch property in Montana and a beach-front Caribbean island hideaway on the private island of Parrot Cay in the Turks and Caicos but honestly chickens, Your Mama has no direct knowledge of these things so we don't recommend y'all go repeating that like you know what yer talkin' about, oh-kaay?

listing photos and floor plan (New York City): Town Real Estate
listing photos (Hailey, ID): Sotheby's International Realty

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