Your Next Place

This fabulous hillside Colonial is located in Barnaby Woods, which sounds like the name of a pro basketball player from the Seventies, but is actually a really swank section of Chevy Chase.  Did you know (no you didn't) that Barnaby Woods has no commercial zoning at all?  Which means it's entirely residential, and almost unnervingly sedate and beautiful.  It also means that if you forget to go on a beer run until like five minutes before the store closes, you're going to be stuck drinking cooking wine for the rest of the night.  (Pro tip:  hold your breath during each drink, then exhale as slowly as possible afterwards.)

This wonderful house boasts a bright, large living room (with fireplace), a formal dining room, and a sporty wood-paneled den.  The kitchen, which was recently renovated, has acres of counter space and top-shelf appliances.  Upstairs, the bedrooms are realllly spacious and have a ton of personality, and the master bedroom has a small adjoining room you can use as a nursery, or sitting room, or the world's nicest walk-in closet.

I also loved the massive screened-in porch.  I have a non-screened-in porch, which means I'm wearing black socks this week so the little spots of blood aren't visible from the mosquito bites all over my ankles that I've scratched until they bled.  There's also a beautiful, private backyard screened off by a wall of greenery - perfect for nude sunbathing!  Growing up in Iowa, a couple lived next door who constantly laid out naked in their backyard, only my bedroom window looked right down into their yard.  Everything I know about sex, I learned by watching a Journey roadie roll around with his girlfriend on a filthy picnic blanket after like eight hits from an apple bong.  (Any of my exes reading this just nodded knowingly and then shuddered.)

6687 32nd Place NW
3 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths
$725,000

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