Imprisoned O.J. Simpson Faces Foreclosure

It may or may not come as a surprise to any of the children who might care that the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine is all abuzz and atwitter today over the news that once beloved but now (almost universally) despised and currently incarcerated former professional football player O.J. Simpson may soon lose his South Florida home to the unforgiving maw of foreclosure.

Mister Simpson, controversially acquitted of the brutal murders of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and man-pal Ron Goldman back in 1995, is currently holed up in the hoosegow in Lovelock, NV where he's about 5 years into a 9-33 year sentence handed down for his pivotal role in a 2007 incident during which he and a few thugs burst into a Las Vegas hotel room and at gun point stole hundreds of items of sports memorabilia, some of which Mister Simpson claimed belonged to him had been previously (and illegally) been removed from his possession.

Earlier reports and other documentation available online reveal Mister Simpson, who still has an income from his NFL pension and at least one other retirement account protected from creditors, failed to make mortgage payments on his South Florida home, located in the nondescript suburban community of Kendall about 30 minutes by car southwest of the sugary sands and twinkling neon lights of South Beach. Last September (2011) JPMorgan Chase, it seems, got tired of calling and sending letters demanding payment and filed the paperwork to initiate foreclosure. Mister Simpson's attorney quickly filed a motion for dismissal and so far as we can tell the bank has taken no additional action.

Property records reveal Mister Simpson acquired the fully hedged but surprisingly un-gated property in September 2000 when he paid $575,000 for the 1.65 acre spread that includes a 4,233 square foot single story residence with 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms.

We don't have any specific information on the interior spaces but online mapping systems allow Your Mama to determine the property includes a long palm tree-lined driveway and circular motor court; a half-court basketball court; broad, pancake flat lawns; a rear motor court shaded by a massive tree; a sparkling swimming pool that extends off the back corner of an expansive entertainment terrace nestled into the crook formed by the L-shaped residence.

In 2007, as reported by the AP on NPR, Mister Simpson used $350,000 of the $750,000 he was paid for the ghostwritten pseudo-confessional If I Did It (2007) to pay down the original mortgage. Alas, when the three-quarter million dollar payment became known the Goldman family's attorney—in response to a still unpaid $33,500,000 civil judgement against Mister Simpson—filed suit and eventually the $750,000 was declared as ill-gotten gains. As such the $350,000 Mister Simpson used to pay down his mortgage was returned and his mortgage raised (with interest, we're sure) to off-set the amount returned by the bank to Mister Goldman's estate. The Goldman family was also granted the rights to the then unpublished If I Did It, which was eventually published by the Goldman family under the more cumbersome but intentionally condemning title If I Did It: Confessional of the Killer.

Listen puppies, impolite and inflammatory as it may be to state out loud, we might feel sorry for poor ol' O.J. Simpson if he didn't come off as such a pompous ass and entitled douche bag who, prior to being locked up, cleaved publicly and desperately to an ancient super stardom that had for all intents and purposes evaporated bitterly into a particularly pathetic and foul form of infamy. There were tax issues, domestic violence allegations, and various run ins with the law that included a $25,000 judgement against him in 2007 for pirating his goddam cable television. Pirating his cable television? Seriously Juice? Bitch, pleeze.

Anyhoodles poodles, as reported by NPR, the Miami-Dade County Tax Man shows the property is currently assessed at $478,401 and that in early December (2011) Mister Simpson's mortgage holder Chase Home Finance paid the 2011 property taxes in the amount of $8,732.36.

We do not, of course, have a single shred of inside intel on Mister Simpson's real estate and/or financial matters so you did not hear this from Your Mama but our inner cynic can't help but wonder if a foreclosure could be a calculated financial maneuver designed to rid the imprisoned 64-year old of the not inconsiderable expense of the mortgage(s), taxes and upkeep on a property he may not ever see again depending on when the powers that be release him from the pokey.

How hard the once mighty sometimes fall. Are you listening Lindsay Lohan?

aerial photo: Bing