Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

This massive Tudor (over 5600 square feet spread over four levels!) was recently renovated with design by Cunningham and Quill Architects. That's two architects names I just dropped in like ten words. Am I the most annoying person ever or what? If we were at a party, this is the point at which you'd start silently praying for your friend to come back inside and save you. (What is she, smoking the whole pack?!?!)

But yeah, this house is massive. The open floor circuit of open kitchen-living room-sitting room-dining room is long enough that you could make a solid case for keeping an indoor golf cart around. This is the perfect house for a family, because it's big enough that you could never ever see each other, if you wanted it that way. (And why wouldn't you?) There's a ton of light and a ton of gleaming hardwood flooring, and simple but luxurious finishes all around. There's also a pool in back, for all your kids' friends to come over and urinate in. Best of all, the house is located in a quiet cul de sac, so before you know it, you'll be one of those people who rushes to the window every time an unfamiliar car drives by out front, muttering, "who is that? Is that a rental? Only drug dealers drive rentals. I'm calling the police."

4323 Hawthorne Street NW
7 Bedrooms, 5.5 Baths
$2,449,000

Washington D.C. real estate news