Wednesday, July 25, 2012

BUYER: Bruno Mars
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,254,000
SIZE: 4,064 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: He may only be 26 years old but singer-songwriter Bruno Mars already has one Grammy—plus half a dozen more Grammy nominations—and adequate scratch to drop several million clams on a quite contemporary and quintessentially Los Angeles crib at the tippy-top of L.A.'s geographically legendary Laurel Canyon.

Since the 1920s Laurel Canyon has been a wooded, winding and semi-secluded enclave for Showbiz types of all stripes. Harry Houdini, Clara Bow and cowboy actor Tom Mix lived for a spell in Laurel Canyon in the early 1920s, as did Boris Karloff in the 1930s. During the sixties and seventies, Laurel Canyon's funkified heyday of rock and roll, Frank Zappa moved into the 'hood and stayed until he died in 1993 and the dee-voon Joni Mitchell settled in sometime in the sixties and still owns her Laurel Canyon digs. Iggy Pop lived in Laurel Canyon, so did Adrienne Barbeau, Jim Morrison, Cass Elliot, Carole King, David Crosby, Chevy Chase, (California governor) Jerry Brown, Jackson Browne, and even a Rolling Stone or two.

Marilyn Mansion lived and recorded in Laurel Canyon at the famous Mary Astor House and nowadays high profile residents of the still boho-vibed—but hardly inexpensive—Laurel Canyon area include Nicole Richie and whatever Madden brother she's married to, Christina Applegate, Sacha Baron Cohen, Chris Colfer, Werner Herzog, Ke$ha, and one of Demi Moore's daughters. George Clooney has lived for years in a tucked-away estate on the Studio City side of Laurel Canyon and country crooner k.d. lang sold her long-time Laurel Canyon house earlier in the year to one of the dudes from Maroon 5.

Property records for the sleek and low-slung house in question shows it was purchased in mid-July (2012) for the very grown up price of $3,254,000 by a Los Angeles-based blind trust our preternaturally well-informed friend and informant Lucy Spillerguts swears is connected to young Mister Mars. We can not verify the facts of the matter, children, but our dear Ms. Spillerguts never, ever steers us down the wrong celebrity real estate path.

Listing information we managed to squeeze out of the internets indicates the single-story quasi-Hollywood Regency-style residence measures 4,064 square feet and, at the time it was most recently sold in July 2012, was configured with 3 (carpeted) bedrooms and 3.5 (recently renovated) restrooms outfitted with swank finishes and fixtures.

Interestingly, the property was purchased by the sellers only a year ago, in May 2011, for $1,235,000. A few brisk clicks and clacks on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus reveals that with the most recent $3,254,000 purchase price the property flipping sellers raked in a whopping $2,019,000 profit, not counting the no-doubt considerable taxes and carrying costs, renovation expenses and real estate fees. Even if the sellers netted only 25% of the gross they still earned a significant income for a single year's worth of real estate work and effort. Not bad work iffin you can get it, right?

Anyhoo, a walled and double-gated motor court at the front of the house easily parks three or four cars while a three car garage and driveway around the corner offers off-street parking for up to six more.

Eight, chunky and towering Calcutta marble columns—that sorta give the front facade the look of a mid-century modern bank in Palm Springs—line up like soldiers along a shallow but airy portico. Custom-made 11-foot tall double front doors open into a small foyer and expansive, open plan main living/dining/kitchen area with dark chocolate colored hardwood floors and long walls of floor-to-ceiling retractable glass panels that obliterate the distinction between indoors and out and allow for sweeping views over the San Fernando Valley. There's a minimalist's firebox in the "formal" living area and a Chevy-sized sky light and floating, built-in buffet bar in the "formal" dining area complete with a wino-approved, full-height wine refrigerator.

The somewhat compact but expensively-equipped center island kitchen has a wall of floor to ceiling windows (with a less than stellar view of the front motor court), a double-wide fridge-freezer, stacked double ovens, and a two-seat snack counter. The service areas, tucked into a corner between the kitchen and the direct-entry garage, include a guest/family/staff bedroom with private attached bathroom, a separate office (also with motor court view), and a laundry facility with convenient slop sink.
On the other side of the house there's an unusually large powder room just off the entry, a second guest/family bedroom with private attached bathroom, and a 26-foot long family room/media lounge with second fireplace, another entire wall of retractable glass doors and a few built-in floating shelves.

The celebrity-style master suite at the end of the hall has a full wall of retractable floor-to-ceiling glass panels with oblique city view and a custom-fitted and a clothes' horse accommodating walk-in closet and adjoining dressing room. The attached bathroom has radiant heat floors; double sinks set into a floating cabinet; separate linen and terlitry storage cabinets and shelves; a private cubby for the crapper; glassed-in, multi-head steam shower big enough for two (or more); free-standing soaking tub set in front of a giant window; huge dry sauna with a huge window; and a massage/yoga/fitness area big enough for both Sven the sexy masseuse and Teena the mobile mani-pedi gal to work over the homeowner at the same time.

The back of the house spills out to the posse- and party-friendly backyard with deep, shaded overhangs, an outdoor bar and a dark-bottom swimming pool surrounded by decking. A small but flat lawn extends the outdoor living areas around the side of the house to a quiet, gravel patio, and a big view. As best as we can tell, there does not appear to be a spa or hot tub on the property.

Listing information made a point to mention the Swarovski crystal lighting fixtures and the state-of-the-art security system with eight perimeter cameras for video taping anyone who might even so much as drive or walk by the house.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker / Sunset Boulevard

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